


Wall Rose Host Club

by midnightninja14



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crossover, Drabble, Erenweek prompt, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 06:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1377826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightninja14/pseuds/midnightninja14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young Eren Jaeger stumbles into a room of hot guys. (Kind of as shady as it sounds).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wall Rose Host Club

**Author's Note:**

> For Erenweek - Day 03: Crossover
> 
> A crossover with a certain Host Club anime. (If you’ve never seen OHSHC, you’re a deprived soul.) Also, this hasn’t been beta-ed, so sorry for any errors! And it gets sorta cracky as it nears the end, my bad. I don’t think I’ve written crack before, actually.

Eren sighed as he wandered through the halls, wondering if his life could possibly get any worse. Why did this goddamn rich school have to be so _big_? Was it really necessary to have four different reading rooms? Besides, Eren was willing to bet that most of the students didn't even use those rooms for _reading_... 

The reason he was in the prestigious Wall Rose Academy was all thanks to his good grades. Eren was determined to get into a good college, and his first step was Wall Rose. After the academy, he'd get into a top college and then he'd _take over the world_!

No, not really. 

Anyway, his first order of business was to actually find a quiet place to study, his search proving fruitless so far. Eren found himself in front of a pair of large doors, the sign reading, "The third music room". 

"Huh, finally an empty room?" Eren muttered to himself, placing a hand on the door handle. He opened the door, stepped inside, and suddenly felt as though rose petals were swirling around him. _What the hell?_

"Welcome," A chorus of male voices sounded from inside the room, making Eren's eyebrows furrow in confusion. The door closed behind him, and Eren looked up to see a group of guys wearing the same school uniform, all of them in various (and weird) poses for some reason. 

His life just got worse. 

The blond male sitting in the chair suddenly began to give a speech about how great the school was, how rich and lazy everyone was, blah blah blah... Eren's eyes widened as he registered one phrase from the tall male, "Host Club". 

"H...Host club?" Eren asked warily, his hand behind him desperately searching for the door handle. This place was so _weird_. 

"Oh, wait, it's a guy." A pair of voices called in unison. 

"Jean, Marco, that brat is in the same class as you, isn't he?" The short man standing next to the chair was eyeing him. "Welcome to the Wall Rose Host Club. You better have washed your hands before coming here."

"Ah! You must be that new special student, Eren Jaeger," The blond had stood now, and he was walking towards Eren. 

"...Why do you know my name?" Eren had warning bells ringing in his head, a voice screaming _abort abort_! (He really should listen to that voice in his head.)

"Well, the fact that you're piss-poor makes you somewhat famous around here. Or maybe infamous would be a better word? The only poor people who get into this damn school are nerdy bookworms." The short man looked bored as he rattled off the information and Eren found himself glaring at the guy. 

"Wow, thanks... asshole." He muttered the last bit under his breath, but Eren had a feeling the short guy had heard it if the death glare he was now shooting his way was any indication. 

"Don't worry about being poor, we treat everyone the same! Now," The blonde had an arm around Eren's shoulders now, "I didn't think the new student would be gay, but since you're here, what's your type?"

"...Excuse me?" 

"Your type!" The blond pointed a finger to each person as he introduced them, "Reiner, the wild type? Armin, the loli-shota?"

"I am not a _shota_!" Armin, the so-called shota who had been reading a book, looked as though he was going to throw said book at the taller blond man. 

"It's either shota or the feminine boy." 

"...Dammit Erwin, fine. I'm the shota." Armin sighed, grumbling under his breath about stupid, tall idiots wearing bolo ties. 

"Moving on, perhaps you'd like the little devil twins, Jean and Marco?"

"That horse-face looks nothing like that freckled kid!" Eren said, totally not judging the two-toned hair of the horse-faced guy.

"Who the hell are you calling horse-face, you poor asshole?!" Jean was glaring at Eren now, "Marco, let me punch him!"

"Jean, no."

"But Marco--!"

"No! Now calm down. And Eren? We aren't actually twins, Erwin just likes to refer to us like that since we're so in sync," Marco explained with a friendly smile. 

"...You guys are totally fucking." Eren's statement had the pair blushing and stuttering, both of them trying to dissuade him to no avail. _Oh please_ , Eren mused, _they're gayer than me_. 

"Anyway, back to the introductions. Levi, the cool type?" Erwin gestured to the short guy who seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face... who shot a wink in Eren's direction. 

"Or perhaps..." Erwin was leaning in now, "...You'd like to try me?" He whispered, caressing Eren's face with a hand. 

_Why were they all so hot?!_ Eren cleared his throat, stumbling backwards to get away, "As appealing as that sounds, I was only looking for somewhere to study--!" Eren's back collided with something, and a loud crash resounded throughout the room. 

_Oh shit._

"Nice going, Jaeger. How are you and your poor ass going to pay for that expensive vase?" Jean was smirking at him. Eren wanted to punch him, and he would have if not for Levi's interruption. 

"He could work as our dog." Levi suggested with a glint in his eyes that made Eren shiver. 

"Or... he could pay off his new found debt by being a host! It's not like he's secretly a girl or anything, and his eyes are sure to grab the attention of a lot of people." Armin suggested, his eyes never leaving his book. Everyone else's eyes however, were now staring intently at Eren. 

His life just got so much worse.

But he had to pay off his debt, so he agreed to the crazy plan. 

_He'd kill them all. Every last one... of those girls’ (and maybe guys’) hearts._


End file.
